Four days, four kids, 2000 miles and a funeral

Last Wednesday Feb. 13th Bill's Grandpa Mitchell died. This picture was taken last June. It was the only time he saw John and Will. I'm so glad we made the extra trip to see him. Everyone keeps giving us their sympathy and Bill and I are in the uncomfortable position of having to say, "No, really we're not that upset about it." His health had been deteriorating. And always a slightly catankerous old man he was becoming increasingly more obstinate and unreasonable. I think he is pleased that he was able to die before his children had forced him to give up his independence. His wife died more than a year ago. She had suffered a stroke and for nearly a decade he was her main caregiver. It was sweet to see how tender and attentive he was of her. I'm certain he is happy to be reunited with her.

His funeral was on Saturday and plane tickets on such short notice as well as President's Day weekend are pricey. But it was important to support Bill's dad as well as show respect for his Grandpa's memory so we drove to Burley, ID via a stop in Salt Lake. Fortunately the kids had Friday and Monday off. We left before 6 a.m. on Friday morning. Will was not this happy the whole trip. But he did spend the majority of his waking hours in pajamas.

The kids were delighted to see snow. They oohed and aahed at the snowy landscape. So did Bill and I. I'd forgotten how shadows on the snow appear blue. I don't think John fully grasps the concept of snow. We were staying at my parents home and he asked, "How does the snow get on the roof?" Later, after a five minute drive to Bill's parents he exclaimed, "Look! They have snow too!"

On Saturday we got up early and drove for three more hours to Burley for the viewing and burial and a lunch with family. Bill really enjoyed visiting with all his relatives, so much so that he wasn't very good at introductions. So I spent most of the day trying to entertain small children in a church gymnasium. Actually, a lot of the time I let them run wild and bonded with the other in-laws who were being equally ignored by their spouses. We did try to take a picture of the Mitchell cousins. This is all of them except baby Alexander in Seattle. We drove back to Salt Lake that night. Unfortunately, we didn't get to spend too much time with Bill's parents--the two people we came to see. But I think that's just how it is with funerals. Just as you never really get to visit with the bride and groom at weddings. I think they were still glad we came. We drove back to Salt Lake that night.

Sunday was our day of rest quite literally. We slept in and had a late breakfast and went to church with my sister. She made such a fuss over us, it made me feel very loved. That night we had a family get together partly to celebrate John's birthday but mainly just to visit with family. Both the Mitchell and Farnsworth families were invited. It was at my parents home. My mom who is in San Diego for the winter, said she was happy to hear we were all getting together but also happy that she wouldn't have to do the clean up. A big thank you to my brothers and dad who prepared most of the food and did the clean up too. As you can see by the shoes it was a lot of people and a lot of fun.

Monday morning we got up early and drove some more. My dad and brother packed us some food for the trip--including double stuff Oreos. These provided lots of entertainment. Will had his own way of eating them--he ate only the middles. Lizzy likes only the tops. She'd give the rest of her cookie to Zoey who enjoyed triple decker Oreos.

Monday was John's 4th birthday. He spend most of the day in the car in his pajamas. At about 11 a.m. he needed to go to the bathroom. We pulled to the side of the road just north of Mesquite. I carried him out because we couldn't find his shoes but as luck would have it I set him down right on a thorn. We took a photo to commemorate his pathetic 4th birthday.


However, when we came home my parents (my dad flew back from Salt Lake that same day) brought us dinner with brownies. We put candles in the brownies, we were home and it wasa happy birthday after all. When we asked the kids if they thought the trip was worth it they gave a resounding no. Lizzy suggested next trip we spend at least equal days not driving as driving. She has a good point but I'm glad we went. Bill said whoever invented the DVD player in a car should get the Nobel peace prize.

My Complicated Valentines

Lizzy and I saw these felt fortune cookies in Martha Stewart and thought they would be fun Valentine's for her class. They are filled with two chocolate kisses and a slip of paper which reads: You will have a sweet year--Elizabeth. Pretty cool, huh? Except they were impossible to put together and once we did the kisses kept slipping out. After I spent most of my afternoon into the evening helping kids with Valentines the table was littered with felt and glue and the scraps of paper. I said I'm not going to do this again. Next year we are going to be like normal people and buy valentines from the store. Then Lizzy pointed out that next year she won't be doing valentines anymore. She will be in middle school. Suddenly, it didn't seem like such an onerous project. And Lizzy did do most of them herself and she modified Martha's project and improved it with an ingenius use of pipecleaner. Still, I will spare you all directions for the felt cookies. If you want such insanity in your life you will have to seek it on your own.

On another day Lizzy helped John get his Valentines together for preschool. They made red playdough and cut it out in thick heart shapes. The note said: I am putty in your hands. I thought this was a bit much but Lizzy and John did all the work and most of the clean up. And I really didn't have to worry about his Valentines at all. I think have an oldest daughter is beginning to pay off. I asked Bill if he would have made play dough Valentines for his younger brother and he just laughed.

Happy Super Tuesday!

Today I'm feeling as patriotic as I ever have. I had to cross through a long polling line as I dropped John off at preschool. And I wanted to say, "Isn't this a great country? That we don't need bloodshed to change regimes but instead we patiently stand in line to vote." But I did not, so I'm doing it here. And though in general politicians bug me--because by the very nature of their profession they are all somewhat insincere--today I'm grateful that there are competent and decent men and women who are willing to go through the ravages of running for office to give us all a choice. I'm going to borrow a phrase politicians overuse but today I really mean it. God bless America.

Winter in San Diego

You wouldn't believe how much Lizzy and Zoey complain about living in San Diego. Their biggest complaint--the weather. "Why can't we live where it snows?" When I mention daddy's job they suggest he commute. "Can't he just fly to work?" These same girls are nostalgic for the weather in Dallas. Go figure. Anyhow a couple weekends ago they took the matter in their own hands and hung snowflakes from their ceiling. Zoey drew a picture of a snowman and put it on her door underneath it is a sign reading: winter wonderland. I'm glad I'm providing my children a childhood with hardships that they most overcome with ingeniuty.

We aren't really a Disneyland family. First, Bill is really cheap-I mean frugal. And if I'm going to go on vacation I want to visit family, history or nature. But living so close to Disneyland we thought we'd eventually make the trip. Then it dawned on us that the only child who would really appreciate Disneyland is Zoey. So the Saturday before last Bill had her get dressed, told her to wear good walking shoes and bring a rain jacket. As they drove they played 20 questions to guess the final destination. Zoey didn't know where they were going till they exited on Disney Way. Bill said she literally sparkled the whole day.

In January I finally gave up on John's nap. He now has quiet time which means he is supposed to sit and look at books or play quietly. It doesn't always work that way but it's a nice photo.

This last Sunday we had my idea of a perfect day. After church, Bill built a fire. We all sat around as Bill read "The Railway Children" and a steady rain fell outside. Occasionally, we'd toss in the pine cones John gathers on our walks and watch them ignite and become illuminated like Christmas trees before they burn out. After dinner we roasted marshmallows on the coals.

The Saga of the Texas Star Quilts

This was the scene in my living room much of January. The quilt is Lizzy's Texas Star quilt which I started in the summer of 2003 and in my wildest dreams didn't think I'd ever actually finish. I got the crazy idea to make each of my girls a Texas Star quilt from a library book. In the story the mom pieces a quilt (in about a day--obviously fiction) then holds a quilting bee. The book ends with the last quilter leaving while the first snowflakes gently fall and the whole family snuggles under the quilt--made from start to finish in less than a week. I should have known better; but I fell in love with the idea of making my girls Texas Star quilts. (We were living in Texas at the time.) I knew it would take longer than a week--after all I was making two and I wasn't really a quilter. (I had made a baby quilt.) I thought something more like six months. In a flurry of excitement I picked out a pattern (there are actually a lot of quilts called Texas Star--incidentally I chose one of the most difficult) and the fabrics and started cutting.

Many nights were spent cutting with my good friend Lara. Actually, it was over this quilt that Lara and I became good friends. It was on one of our first nights cutting that Lara announced that she was expecting her first child. I was already expecting my third. We ended up some nights talking more than cutting. Sometimes I don't think Lara ever bothered to take the fabric out of her bag. Then we had our babies and there were fewer free nights to get together. And then I moved out of state and I had another baby and the quilts just became one more expensive project I knew I'd never finish.

Enter Linda. Linda was a woman in my ward whom I liked but didn't know well. She has raised nine kids scattered across the west. We had talked about getting together to sew but never found the time until a couple months after Will was born. It had been one rough summer. Bill was never home, all four kids were always home. The house just got messier and messier and it felt like all I did was sit on the couch and nurse and yell at John because I was nursing and I couldn't chase him down and put him in eternal time out where he belonged. To add to all this, or because of all this, I was having strange allergies and my eyes were almost swollen shut and my vision was so bad I couldn't read. And then Linda came by and offered to help with my quilt. I remember when she dropped off the 12 stars sewn and ironed. They seemed miraculous. It was the perfect gift. She had given me hope. Linda moved shortly after that.

Still, the quilt lurked under my bed in a plastic bin for a year. Until Jenn found out about it. Jenn is one of my two wonderful running partners who is willing to run at 5:30 in the morning. During the week of the wildfires in October, she called and mentioned she was quilting and I mentioned that I had some unfinished quilts. She said, "Can I help, what about tonight?" I think I was busy that night but the next night she came over and we sewed and sewed till 1 a.m. and lo and behold we had all the stars finished. That's when I realized maybe I could finish the quilts in time for Christmas. Now we still had a lot of work to get the tops ready to quilt but with Jenn's help and my mom's we were ready to go by the second week of December. Jenn set up the quilt in her garage. I really have no idea how many people helped with that quilt. I helped when I could but I wanted to keep the whole thing as a surprise. And it is hard to get away from four kids. But Jenn makes things happen and the quilt was finished in less than a week. I decided with Christmas right upon us and a few other things to keep everyone busy that I would give Zoey her quilt finished and wrap Lizzy's unfinished and tell her that she could help quilt it.

And that's what we did and since the quilt was at my house and not Jenn's and I'm not quite as driven, it took almost a month to finish it. But while the quilting frames in the family room drove Bill crazy, I almost miss them. I loved having an excuse to invite people over. I loved it when on occasion I would come home and find a friend waiting to quilt with me. Almost no one who helped--including Jenn--had ever hand quilted before. And almost everyone was surprised by how much they liked it. It is nice sometimes to do something slow and steady with your hands. Jenn said that as she quilted she felt connected with her ancestors. I definitely felt more connected with the women I worked with and women in general. Nothing quite compares to the conversation over a quilt. Perhaps it is because you are not looking directly at each other that you open up. Lizzy loved it. She tried quilting for an hour or so and then she decided it was more fun just listening. I was telling a friend this (as we quilted of course) and she said she did the same thing as a kid and it's a shame girls don't have more chances to listen to women talk. It's an important part of growing up. She may be right.

I can't say how satisfying it is to see my girls wrapped up in these quilts. They are literally cloaked in the love of so many women over so many years. This last photo in currently the background on my computer screen. I love to look at it. I can't quite say what the whole experience has meant to. It has definitely given me momentum. I'm dusting off other unfinished projects, it has given me new friends and deepened existing friendships. It has made me want to do more to serve others. Still i don't completely appreciate the significance of these quilts. For one thing the story goes on. One of my neighbors who helped with the quilt came by the day Jenn and I finished it and asked if we could help her finish a quilt her grandma made more than 50 years ago. We've already bought the fabric. The quilting continues. Thank you to all of you of put in a few stitches.