Cute Boys and Crushes

First, a few pics of the cute boys in my life. Above is a profile of John on a Mother's Day card he gave me (obviously the preschool teacher cut out the profile--not John. I'm pretty sure I'm not that good with scissors.) I realized as we were walking to preschool that day that I hadn't bothered to brush John's hair that morning. Actually, I think it is a rare day when I do brush John's hair.

Another picture of John. Sometimes he likes to play with his helmet on--which considering his activities--is a wise idea. On this day he was lugging a large branch around the yard. He told me, "A guy with a helmet gets things done."

Here is Will. He keeps pretty busy moving trucks and digging in the dirt.

I'm fairly sure I have not adequately described how wonderful Will is. He is so easygoing and happy, he often can fade into the woodwork. He does however have a charming method of making sure we remember him. He frequently gives sneak attack hugs.

Now on to the Crushes. One of Lizzy's major complaints about this blog is that it is called Dinner with the Mitchells and it is rarely about dinner. (This is her number one excuse for not blogging. My response is: then blog about dinner.) Anyhow she will be greatly relieved that I am going to report here an actual Mitchell family dinner conversation which I thought was mildly amusing and worth opening up to the greater public.

We were talking about crushes. Lizzy was telling us the code names for her three crushes. I'm afraid I only remember two: Lollipop and Rapunzel. But it doesn't matter what the third is because he is no longer an official crush. According to Lizzy he has lost his allure because he parts his hair differently. Now for those of you who know Lizzy, this whole entry may come as a shock. Zoey has a new crush a minute you know but Lizzy? Well Lizzy has always been too dignified for crushes and besides where would she find a boy good enough. But alas this fall she will be starting middle school and she is now pining for a boy named Rapunzel. You will be comforted to know that she doesn't take any of this too seriously. She was the one who suggested I share the code names on this blog. Lizzy can be silly, but she can't be silly without laughing at herself.

Anyhow Bill was surprised by the code names. He said he never gave his crushes code names and he would be shocked if any boys did. For one thing he said boys don't talk about their crushes--except with some girls who pointedly ask. I said that I thought it quite common for girls to give their crushes code names. To back this up I cited my own experience, an entry on Aunt Collette's blog and a book the girls and I had recently read in which the heroine referred to her crush as The Boy. This was a revelation to Bill as was the idea that girls often have crushes on boys they don't really want to spend time with. Of Lizzy's three crushes, she says she would only like to spend time with Lollipop. This too surprised Bill he said he always had crushes on girls he actually liked.

I said it's different for girls. Crushes are not so much about who you like but about who you want to talk about. Starting in Jr. High crushes are the currency of female conversation in the same way boys talk about sports. A socially savvy girl catches on fast that easiest form of small talk with girls that you have nothing in common with or don't really know well is crushes. The question, "Who do you like?" in Jr. High is as ubiquitous as "What's your major?" in college. I'm not certain what the currency of conversation is for women my age. I'd assume it would be talking about work or children which leads to my theory--a bit of a stretch I admit--that girls crushes are not a precursor for romance and marriage but for children. They are the beginning of motherly love and this is why girls name their crushes. This would also explain why some don't like spending time with their crushes--just talking about them. I'd venture to say that most girls and women, don't give code names to the boys who become their husbands.

Sometimes, I wish it was as socially acceptable to brag about your husband as it is to brag about your children. But it really isn't, so I'll just end with this picture. It's a bit dark and maybe out of focus but it says quite a bit about what I see in Bill. --Ruth